I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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