Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
