Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
