We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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