is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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