I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I love you. Go after that dick
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
