He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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