If that was your dad, he is hot
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
ttyl tear gas
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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