i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize