i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
