i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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