it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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