Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
