I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
