she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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