SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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