someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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