3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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