Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
and you fell through a lawn chair
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
