Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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