worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
