I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
