I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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