the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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