This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
