I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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