oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people