The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
