if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
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where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i think im in europe. pls send help
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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