My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
