He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
