Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize