I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize