The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to make a zoo with you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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