If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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