tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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