it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
