? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
