Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
