when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
And then he peed in my hair
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