Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
