I wish I could punch you in the face.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize