hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
