dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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