why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
