Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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