Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
