Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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