he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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