What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Found the puke drawer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
