Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
