I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this just has baby written all over it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
