Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
