I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
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I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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