it hurts more in the daytime
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
