Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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