your room smells of hookers.
And success
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
