he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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