If i come over, it means nothing
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
